Neurons

Nothing

I oft feel nothing

I shut down all to easily

Nerves deadened

Its a good shield for pain I supose

But its not like the nothing is compleat

I still feel my synapses firing firing firing

Screaming into unreseptive centers

Its exausting

The shards of glass don't go away

They just

Stay

The synapses don't let emotions flow, taking the nails barbed wire with them

Whats left is pressure

And all thats left to wash away the detritus are overwhelming bursts

Torents of emotive force

I oft feel most things

When there aren't shards of glass aimed at me

When a week goes by without some fucking scedualing conundrum executing my soscial life in a single blow

When a year goes by without the pressure of a monoculture that thinks less of you than indiference

But it's fragile

It takes but a single shard of glass

And

Well

Old habits die hard

And the synapses that were firing firing firing

Start firing into nothing

And I wish that I could feel

Feel

Feel

Feel Feel

FEEL FEEL FEEL FEEL!

Those shards of glass

The softest velvet

And I don't know if it's self defence or just a byproduct of the bloody testosterone running through my viens

But oft I can't

And I hate it